Next Time

The following sentence is part of the last paragraph from my August 25th post. "Next time, it may be me, standing in the need of prayer".  Little did I know how soon that "next time" would be. 

On ,September 3, 2021 my baby sister, KK was diagnosed with c0vid* pneumonia. It was the beginning of Labor Day weekend. The Convenient Care Clinic where she was seen, sent her home in the same shape that she was in when she entered their door. She was told to use her home oxygen and go to the Emergency Room if her symptoms became unmanageable. Additionally, they told her that she qualified for the monoclonal antibody infusion, but couldn't get it until after the holiday.

In the days that followed, her symptoms worsened. She had to increase her oxygen usage from 1 liter  to 3 liters. She experienced head ache, nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. Yet, she insisted that she would be alright; her hope pinned on prayer and the infusion that had been scheduled for September 8, 2021.

Weak, but unwilling to call an ambulance, she gathered enough strength to get into the car to go for the infusion. Once we made it to the Infusion Clinic, she was taken inside via wheel chair. I had to remain outside of the building.  For the next two hours, I waited, worried, prayed, texted, and drank coffee. Time passed. I could only wonder what was taking so long. When I was finally able to talk to a person who actually knew her whereabouts; I found out that she had been taken to the Emergency Room. Fortunately, it was in the same building complex as the Infusion Clinic.

Another hour went by and then two. By this time, she & I had exchanged a few texts. The last of which read, "I'm going to the big house**, bra-less and with only one flip flop". Despite the gravity of the situation, she had retained her sense of humor. At this point, I scrambled to gather a few personal items for her; phone charger, toothbrush, tooth paste, deodorant, etc. Next hurdle; how was I to get these items to her when I wasn't allowed inside the building?

God smiled on me & helped me to arrive in the correct ambulance bay, at the right time, to get her stuff to the ambulance driver. He would not confirm that she was the patient in his care. However, when he did not deny it, I took that as a sign that she was, in fact, in his ambulance. I will forever be grateful to have made that connection in time. Due to c0vid restrictions, it would be nearly three weeks before I would see my sister again. 

Text messages were our only means of communication with baby sis. First she was on high flow oxygen, but soon after, was placed on a Bi-Pap, We tried talking on the phone, but she could barely talk and breathe at the same time. On September 12, 2021, she was intubated and placed on a ventilator.

Then the roller coaster ride of day to day health changes, ensued. She was fully sedated into coma to tolerate being on the ventilator, so she could no longer text. No visitors allowed, due to  C0vid restrictions that would not be lifted until September 24th.

At some point we got word that we could set up a Zoom sessions with her. We were allowed one, ten minute session each day. While she was unconscious, there was little to do but talk to her and hope that she was hearing us. We closed each session with prayer for her and for her caretakers. Once they doctors started decreasing the sedation, she was able to interact with us with nods, smiles, and hand gestures. We had some good visits, but we longed to see her for longer than 10 minutes at a time, and we wanted to see her in person.

On the 19th day of her admission, we were allowed to visit face to face. But restrictions only allowed one visitor per twenty-four hours. Those visits were like pure gold to us ( middle sister & me). Some days, she was able to interact freely and we could see that she was improving. Then at times, there would be set backs and the sedation would be increased. And once again, she would not be able to communicate with us.

On the home front, we cried, we prayed, we leaned on our family and  friends, and we set our eyes on the miracle that we fully expected to take place. We proclaimed our faith to all that we met. We shared the testimony of her previous illness and recovery.*** We held on to God's unchanging hand. And even in all of that, we felt utterly helpless.

The days and nights seemed to run together. We basically pieced together the reports each day. Sometimes a nurse or doctor would call me with an update. Sometimes I would call the night nurse and get a report. And then, there were times while I was visiting her, that I actually was able to talk directly to a doctor. She had some very good ones and one or two that were just "okay". Same with the nurses; two of them ranked very high in our esteem and yet others barely made an impression at all. But we were thankful to know that she was receiving good care.

In general, the longer a person is on a ventilator, the less likely are they to recover. Yet, we held on to our hope that KK would be miraculously healed. All in all, she was on the ventilator for 35 days. In that stretch of time, she endured the following procedures; urinary catheter, central line placement, arterial line placement, tracheotomy, chest tube placements, feeding tube, and an untold number of peripheral sticks for blood tests. She suffered from anxiety, fevers, infections, frustrations with trying to communicate, body aches from being bed-ridden, and pain from procedures. Yet, she remained strong in the assurance that God was working on her behalf. 

How do I know that she knew this? On the day before she passed away, I was able to sit with her for about 4 hours. In that time, I held her hand, I talked to her, prayed with her, and at some point, I said, "God's got you, baby girl and He is working for you. Do you know that?" And she responded with a smile and a nodding of her head. On that positive note, I said my good byes and headed home. Little did I know that would be the last time that we would be together.

On the following morning @ 7:40 AM, my sister entered into the joys of heaven; never to experience pain again. She had completed forty days in the wilderness of a critical care unit. Did we cry? YES. Did we mourn? YES. Yet, we rejoiced in the miracle of her full recovery. It did not happen in the way that we wanted, but it happened in God's timing and in His way. Are we still crying? Yes, at times. Are we still grieving? Yes, each in our own way. Are we still rejoicing? Yes, for we know that we will be reunited with her one day.

KK's wilderness trial helped me to re-evaluate my purpose, realm of influence,  faith, relationships, testimony, and ministry. I discovered areas in my life that needed some attention. And I found great strength as I prayed for others who were going through the ordeal of C0vid and its devastation.

Dear reader, be encouraged today. Nothing is too hard for God. There is no sickness that He can not heal. No broken heart that He can not mend. No grief so deep that He can not ease it. And when the answers to our prayers are delayed or come in an unexpected way, He will be there to help us to rejoice in the aftermath.

* I refuse to spell it correctly. When spelled correctly, it shows up in search engines and then it is flagged for review by the Internet police. I'm not a conspiracy nut; but I have seen first hand censorship on other social media sites.

** refers to the flag ship hospital, Jackson Madison County General Hospital which has 600+ beds

*** In 2017, she was diagnosed with Dematomyositis, DVT, Pulmonary Emboli, CHF, Pulmonary Hypertension, and other related conditions. She was told that she would be permanently disabled and that she would be on oxygen the rest of her life. In November 2018 at CrossRoads A/G, she testified of God's healing power. Then she sang, "God is My Refuge" with the same gusto that she had enjoyed prior to the string of illnesses that she had endured. She went back to work part-time in 2019 and full-time in 2020. And was working full-time when she contracted C0vid.  - https://youtu.be/PlgRMJXcgtc

Heart to Heart

"Good grief", was an exclamation that originated with Charlie Brown, but it was commonly said by his peers. It was used  an expression of exasperation or disappointment. Sometimes it was in response to something frivolous. Other times, it was uttered regarding a serious matter. Knowing when and how to say something, is a virtue learned through experience.

I don't always get it right. However, the following is an example of how the Holy Spirit helped me to relieve a friend's exasperation and gently point her back to  The Comforter.

The other day, I was visiting with a dear friend who had recently lost both of her parents. She shared with me about how the grief came in various forms, at odd times, and with or without any particular prompt. I did what I have learned to be one of the best things for helping someone who is grieving; I listened.

She talked about how people offer sympathy in ways that pale in comparison to someone who offers true empathy. She said that she could always tell who had lost someone dear to them versus someone who had not dealt with death, up close and personal. My friend went on to talk about the uselessness of cliche's; how in general, people mean well, but offer no more than a band aid for a broken leg. I nodded in agreement.

Then, "what's worse", she added; "is when someone tells me that I should be getting over it. When they say something like, 'you have to get on with your life' or 'you have to think about your children'. That stuff really makes me mad." Again, I nodded; figured I would let her pour it all out, before offering my two cents worth.

When my turn rolled around, I looked her and said, "yep, that's about right". And she began again. She was grieving and somebody had hurt her feelings. I listened. My mind was filled with all sorts of comments. But my heart told me to be quiet. Once her venting was complete,our conversation flowed freely.

Fast forward to the close of our visit. We hugged and said, "love you" to one another. She added, "I feel so much better. Thank you". We parted, each, enriched from our fellowship. 

We are Christians, she and I. We believe in the power of prayer. We know the scriptures. We walk by faith and not by sight. Yet, her relief did not come from an open display of any of those things. It came from the simple trust that we share as sisters in the Lord. The confidence that I would give her space to share her heart and her hurts, and that I would understand.  

Empathy is not about the sound of your voice or content of your replies. It is the listening to the heart's cry of another, that coveys understanding. Never underestimate the power of bearing one another's burdens. It is one of the most rewarding ways of fulfilling Christ's law of love. 

This time, it was I, who did the consoling. Next time, it may be me, standing in the need of prayer. I'm thankful for the friends/sisters that the Lord has given me. If it has been a while since you told your loved ones that you love them; today would be a good day to do it.

Worship Song?

 Psalm 55 is a Psalm of David, initially submitted to the Director of Music. It was to be played upon the stringed instruments and sang as part of the services in the temple. In short, David presents this piece as his prayer regarding the hate mongers that have lifted their voices against him. He tells of their deeds. He identifies them as wicked, malicious, and destructive. And all; reacting to the railings of one who David calls a peer, companion, and friend, who once joined him in worship in the temple. He completes the piece, declaring his dependence upon the Righteous Judge, and urging his hearers to cast their cares upon God.

In the first verse as recorded in the King James Version, David refers to his request as a prayer or supplication. In the second verse, he says that he is mourning in complaint to God. I looked up the word for "mourning" in the Strong's Concordance. In the original language, it means "to wander restlessly". Put it all together, he is restless, agitated, and complaining to God; without focus, he is just making a noise. 

In the next twelve verses, he shares how his life has been impacted by the wicked ones. And how he would flee as a bird, if he were able.  He goes on to suggest various punishments for them. Again, he reiterates the continuity of their evil deeds. David even prescribes death and hell for them.

Then he pauses to state his plan of action. He has found the proper focus. He sets himself to call upon the Lord day and night. He assures himself that he will be heard. And he recalls the faithfulness of God.  As David continues to pour out his soul to the Lord, he again mentions the deeds of his oppressors. But quickly adds an admonition to all who will hear/sing this song. Verse 22 reads like this: "Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved." No doubt in his mind of who is ultimately in control.

Personally, I know of no worship team that would be brave enough to add this piece to the order of worship in their church. But just imagine what would happen if they did....... I'm sure some would find it offensive. Even the dearest old saint, might have something negative to say about it. Surely, anyone that had contemplated speaking evil against a fellow member, would be convicted. And the wicked.... many would become more vile than ever. It might even bring about a much needed purge of the membership rolls.....Yet, David thought it proper to include it in the services of the temple. 

If it is never included in a public worship service, it is certainly appropriate for our private utterances unto the Lord. Our prayers are much like David's. Often we begin with complaints rather than adoration. And in pouring out the depths of our anguish, we utter what we deem to be appropriate punishment for our offenders. If we continue on in prayer, we too, will find a place of reflection upon the goodness/faithfulness of God. We will gain the focus necessary to give him the praise and worship that He is due. Ultimately, God is faithful to hear both what is verbalized and what issues forth from our hearts.

Dear ones, don't be worried about saying an "ugly" prayer. God is not looking for the eloquent. He is looking for the humble. David was a man "after the heart of God". As long as we are after (straining to obtain) the heart of God, He will hear & answer our prayers.

Dismembered & at Rest

If you are like some folks, the word "dismembered" causes you to have the distasteful thought of a human body being mutilated by a deranged killer; a reaction I suspect, that is from watching too much crime TV.  But that is another post for another time. For the purpose of today's post, think of "dismembered" in its most basic meaning, that is, something that is separated into parts. 

Hebrews Chapter 4 has some very familiar content, yet its verses are often taken out of context. The verse I want to concentrate on today is verse 12. In the King James it reads, "For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of the soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart."   

To take this verse in context, you must read the entire chapter. In doing so, you will see that each verse relates to the idea of the whole chapter. That idea/thought is all about entering into the rest that God has designed for believers. Rest, now that's a subject that everyone is interested in, these days. However, few are interested in being dismembered in order to obtain that rest.

Bottom line: the Word of God is the instrument that God uses upon us to separate our carnal/flesh desires (soul) from the part of us that is regenerated at salvation (spirit). The soul part of us is our human intellect and base desires. Our spirit is the part of us that was created when God breathed into Adam and made him a living soul. The soul, then, consists of the spirit and is housed in a body.

God is not interested in dismembering our physical body. Yet, scripture says that His Word is sharp enough to divide the joints from the marrow. Our skeleton is made up of the bones. Within our bodies, the bones are attached with ligaments and tendons, creating the joints.  The marrow is the inside part of the bones. Within the bones, the red blood cells are manufactured. Without healthy bone marrow, a person will die for lack of on-going production of red blood cells.  So the marrow is what makes the body to live. And the bones/joints are the structure/stability of our body. His Word is sharp enough to separate our structure from our life source. That's a heavy thought. But it is exactly what is necessary to transform us into the new creation that He wills at our time of salvation. That is the point in which we realize that apart from Jesus (Life- Giver) our human structure (flesh/soul), has no means of living.

God is in the business of helping us to distinguish between our soul-ish desires and the righteousness that we have in Him, that is our spirit. One of the ways that He does this, is through the reading/hearing of His Word. When we read/hear His Word, faith is built and our spirit is quickened ( made alive) to what God desires us to be and do. When our thoughts are separated from our intents, we can see the goodness or deceitfulness of both.

We can have a good thought, but deliver it with the wrong intent and vice versa. We can have good intentions, but negative thoughts. It is God's Word that will help us to reconcile our thoughts and intents. In general, modern translations of Hebrews 4:12 state that God's Word is alive, active, and powerful. The Word lives forever, will always work for our good, is more powerful than any force, and is what we must have to live. We can not survive without the Word. We can not enter into God's rest without total dependence upon the Word.

It may hurt to be dismembered, but the pain will subside as He/ the living Word, mends you back together in the way that is most pleasing to Him.

Epitaph - Engraved

What will be engraved on your stone?

"He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches; To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the hidden manna, and will give him a white stone, and in the stone a new name written, which no man knoweth saving he that receiveth it." Rev 2:17 KJV

Now, I can not tell you what that "white stone" is or what it symbolizes; but I can ponder about that "new name" that will be written on it. And in thinking about that new name, I also find myself thinking about the sentiment that will be engraved upon the head stone. that will grace my earthly burial site.

In recent years, I have taken on a new hobby. Basically, I "work" on a site called FindaGrave.com. In the beginning, I used the site for researching family history. It was fun finding & adding additional info to the memorials that had already been created. Working on the site, I have run across various epitaphs. Some are full poems, others just a word or two. It is interesting to get some insight into the life of the deceased.

Many head stones bear the words "Rest in Peace". Others say, "Loving Mother or Loving Father". Some of the very old stones have full poems that tell a stories about the deceased. Some are comical, some are droll, and some must be related to an "inside joke" because they make no sense as standalone comments. At any rate, the epitaph is borne from the heart of someone that was left behind.

What would I like to be written upon my rock? (that's one way it is referred to here in the South.) I have thought about it a few times. It needs to be true; it should be something that would have been evident to anyone who knew me, and I would like for it to be a beacon to point the reader to Jesus.

I would like for my epitaph to read, "Faithful Servant, Forever in the Presence of the Life Giver, Jesus Christ."

I'm praying for the Lord to help me to remain faithful to Him and to the calling that He has placed upon my life.. And I ask you, dear ones, take a moment to reflect upon what lasting words that you would want others to read about you. Remember, the epitaph is ENGRAVED and not likely to ever be changed. It is the final period upon your earthly existence. Live in such a way that you will hear these words: "Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord." Matthew 25:21 KJV

Today's vocabulary word is "epitaph". It is a word not often heard these days. Yet, a large number of people still choose to inscribe one upon their loved one's grave. The general content of epitaphs has changed over time. Early inscriptions were simply the deceased's name, birth date, death date, and perhaps the place of their death. 

The following is an excerpt from Wikipedia's definition: "An epitaph (from Greek ἐπιτάφιος epitaphios "a funeral oration" from ἐπί epi "at, over" and τάφος taphos "tomb")^[1][2] is a short text honoring a deceased person. Strictly speaking, it refers to text that is inscribed on a tombstone or plaque, but it may also be used in a figurative sense. Some epitaphs are specified by the person themselves before their death, while others are chosen by those responsible for the burial. An epitaph may be written in prose or in poem verse; poets have been known to compose their own epitaphs prior to their death, as did William Shakespeare.^[3]"

And Jacob set a pillar upon her grave that is the pillar of Rachel's grave unto this day." Genesis 35:20 KJV 

Prayers Related to Church Construction

Below is a paper/prayer that I wrote a few years ago. At the time, our church was on the brink of building a new sanctuary. The pastor asked me to write something bind the people together in unity as the project got underway. I have removed the specific names of the church and pastor so you may fill in the blanks with the particulars of your church/pastor and type of project to be built.

This may also be a guide to building or remodeling your "heart house" wherein your Savior resides.

If you/your church is beginning  a  project, and in need of a similar prayer/paper; feel free to copy/share the following guide.

____________________________________________________________________________

Prayer Topic: Prayer for the Construction of  the new building.

Scripture Reading: I Chronicles 16:8-16, Nehemiah 3

Declaration: “The God of heaven Himself will help us succeed; therefore, we will arise and build!” Nehemiah 2:20

Scriptural Prayer: Omnipotent Father, we thank You for the Vision for this building. Thank You for being Jehovah Jireh, the One who will provide all the resources we need to complete this project. Thank You for giving our leaders wisdom, discernment, and favor as we move forward with this project. Thank You for entrusting this task to our body of believers. You are the Lord and beside You, there is no other. We can do all things through Christ, Who is our strength.

We stand in agreement for God’s Kingdom to come and His will be done on earth as it is in heaven for the construction of our building . Lord, as we commit the plans for this construction project to You; we decree that these plans will succeed. In Proverbs 11:14, Your Word declares “Where there is no counsel, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” Therefore, we confess that we will seek the counsel of the godly as we proceed with this project.

Father, we expect You to call forth competent and skilled laborers for this project, just as You called forth the artisans for the building of the tabernacle. We decree that everyone involved in this project will focus their attention and efforts so that they can successfully complete their assignments and bring glory and honor to Your Name. By faith, favor surrounds this project and we will have good success with every person associated with the completion of this project.

Father, we are confident that our building will be completed because You spoke the idea/plan to our pastor and Your word will not return void; it will accomplish all that You send it to do. We commit to praying diligently for all involved in construction. We commit to praying throughout the course of this project, from beginning to full completion.

Lord, please bless our building & our body,  to provide ministry that will promote growth, development, education, and enjoyment for our church family, and the people of our community. As Your Light shines through us, help us to love, and lead by example, to reach the hurting and the lost.

Hide our Pastors, deacons, and building committee members under the shelter of Your wings and protect them from any opposition as they continue to manifest Your Kingdom here on earth, as they oversee the construction of our new facility.

In the Name of Jesus, we rebuke satan and any evil force that he would send our way. “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds; casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God; and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;” II Corinthians 10:3-5 KJV

Stir up the faith in our congregation so that we will walk by faith and not by sight. Stir up the faith in me so that I will walk by faith and not by sight. Grant us generous resources to support Pastor's vision through our giving, service, and prayers. Fill every participant, including the building contractors, permitting officials, architects, and engineers with Your spirit of wisdom, understanding, knowledge, and excellence.

Merciful Father, please convict and forgive anyone in our congregation who is speaking against the vision that You have given to our Pastor. Correct those who are not willing to submit to his authority. Convict and forgive those who have loose lips and speak idle words against this project.

Help our church family to work together in unity. Convict and forgive us when we demand our own way and fail to function as one body. Please forgive us for all of our sins. Lord, forgive me for ___________, ____________________, ____________________ (list any sins that you have committed).

Holy Spirit, remind us all of those we need to forgive and help us to be quick to forgive. As for me, Holy Spirit, bring to my remembrance those I need to forgive. (As He shows you, say aloud, “I forgive ____________, ______________, ___________________name of person(s).” Then, trust the Lord to heal any wounds in your soul caused by unforgiveness.)

As a Church Family, help us to overcome temptation and deliver us from the evil one. Almighty God, we put our trust in You. Help us to be consistent in our prayers and support. Help us to be a beacon of hope to everyone that we encounter. All these things we ask in Jesus’ Name, for Thine is the Kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever and ever. Amen.

Additional Scripture References: Genesis 22:14, Isaiah 45:18-19, Matthew 6:10, Proverbs 16:3, Proverbs 15:22, Habakkuk 2:2, Exodus 31:1-6, Psalm 5:12, Philippians 1:6, Psalm 91:4, IICorinthians 5:7, Matthew 6:13, Isaiah 40:22-25

The Heart of the Cup Bearer

"The words of Nehemiah the son of Hachaliah. And it came to pass in the month Chisleu, in the twentieth year, as I was in Shushan the palace, that Hanani, one of my brethren, came, he and certain men of Judah; and I asked them concerning the Jews that had escaped, which were left of the captivity, and concerning Jerusalem." Nehemiah 1:1,2 KJV

"...For I was the king's cupbearer." Nehemiah 1:11 KJV Full chapter, here.

As you read the entire chapter, take note of the parallel between his earthly (flesh) actions and what is required (spiritually) to be a faithful servant/minister of the Lord.  

Humble, Faithful, Trustworthy, Unselfish, Willing to go the extra mile, Wise, Worked within the protocol/boundaries/rules of the kingdom.... these are a few of the character traits of Nehemiah. Traits that we will exhibit, IF we strive to have them in our spirit.

The last verse of chap 1 sets the tone for the entire reading. He was the cup bearer..... SERVANT. Nehemiah had the training/skill set needed to serve the king. More importantly, he had the HEART of a servant. When driven by the heart to serve (in general) one will learn the skills needed to do whatever could be required by the recipient. In serving the earthly king,, the standards were set high and required full attention of the servant. Nehemiah applied this same observance to the work of the temple.

My greatest take away from today's passage is this: we cannot serve God any better than we serve our fellow man. For. Christ came not to be ministered into, but to be a minister. And, as we have done to to least (mankind) we have done into Him.

Additional scripture references:

Mark 10:43-45, "....even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many."

Matthew 20:26,27, "...whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant:"

Luke 12:48, "..... to whom much is give, much is required"  

Matthew 25:31-46  "....Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."